JermaineGreetings, fellow skyfarers, and welcome to the just-plain-ducky homepage of the benevolent and mystical Tito


We are the maniacal twosome that soar overhead and rain comedy down on the unsuspecting citizenry from our lofty perch high above you mortals in our comfortable and palacial Airship Optigrab, so dubbed for the comedic genius of Steve Martin.

I've got yer Space Jam right here, but I call it SPUNK!

Welcome to the Assketeers!
If you'd like to become an Assketeer, notify the authorities at once!

Here's an Assketeer page right now! CarPark's Home Page! Enjoy!
Hey, here's another Assketeer! Go fetch!

January 26, 2001
More attempts at changes are being made. Stay tuned for the Baron Von Ass & Gnome Funny Papers!

The BILLY IDOL Lyric Of The Week!
Wine Spo-Dee-O-Dee

"Drunk 'n' stupid 'n' naked. Love me."
The Loveless
(You know, this has been up for a while but can you think of a more quintessential Billy Idol lyric? I can't bear to change it.)
Happy Crappy!

Visit one of the several recreational facilities on the Airship.
The Ever-Lovin' Nerd Pantry!

Cool Famous Black Guys!
Meet the Optigrab Crew!

Movie Reviews!
Ridiculous Random Crap!

Lokar, Potentate Of Thug Locusts
Bon soir, yon plebians.
Forgive me, lower brain forms, for intruding upon your unfortunate enjoyment of this insipid entre into this 'revolutionary' and 'educational marvel' that is collectively referred to by the feeble human populace as 'The World Wide Web,' or as I refer to it, 'the colossal impotence of humankind.' I shall have to throw my proverbial chapeau into the squared circle, aligning myself with that 'Plumpers' Fundak fellow that this silly Baron person seems to approve of, in declaring this Web Of Iniquity as trite, superfluous, and altogether wretched, worthy of only the most spat upon of carnival freaks. If you continue to insist on dawdling pointlessly within this realm of pretendy play-time, there is now nothing further you may expect a fabulously intellectual and ineluctably superior Brainchild Of The Heavens such as moi to do to prevent the complete degredation of your cognitive abilities, not to mention the erosion of what little social interaction your putrid epidermis and colonized coiff might have afforded you. I have now spoken my piece. I relinquish you back to your fancy prepackaged television squalor. Simpleton.

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View The Aforementioned Guestbook

MC HammerRandyMarlon

Listen, kids, there is mucho stuff to come on this wacky little page, so keep a watch out for more zany madcap antics!


Deadpool = Good comix!

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These images are most likely not my property by any means, and most images include a link to the page I rifled them from. I make no money here, therefore I expect no comeuppance for decorating my page with the toil of others. The Internet is a happy place of sharing, despite Lokar's snippiness.